Yesterday, I decided that the thing that would make me happy was banana bread. I love bananas and banana bread. Normally, we throw in a few mini chocolate chips as favorite combination. To mix it up a little, I took my standard recipe and marbled it by adding additional cocoa to half of the batter. I have to admit I was very pleased with the beautiful marbled pattern and is was delicious to boot.
As a continuation from yesterday’s post of questions I received from a fellow blogger, I will be answering two questions “Why are we all the time trying to be a better person?” and “A better person in relation to what?”
In the past, I compared myself to other people and I thought the key to my happiness was to be like this person or that person, have these qualities, have these relationships, be that smart or pretty or whatever, the list goes on and on….
Recently, I had an epiphany, realizing that I was the problem, not everyone else. Constantly comparing myself to others and not working within my own constraints was me getting in the way of my happiness. With that understanding came an intense freedom. I no longer had to be like someone else, I could just be me and as an extension of that I no longer had to wait for someone else to like me or love me for me to be lovable or like-able. I didn’t spend my time making efforts to please others, I started to look inward for what would please me. I discovered that I needed to peel back the layers of facades that I had put up to protect myself from the hurt and pain of potential rejection and rediscover who I am today, what makes me happy today, what makes me healthy today.
What makes me happy and healthy may be different from what they were yesterday and may change tomorrow, but I accept that for today this is who I am and I, without a shadow of a doubt, am the best person I can be today, flaws and all. Meeting myself each and every day with stability, understanding, love, and integrity, I no longer look to others for those feelings, I provide it for myself. Now everyday that I wake up, I strive to be a better person than I was yesterday.
Marbled Banana Bread
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup butter
3/4 cup brown sugar
2 eggs, beaten
2 1/3 cups mashed overripe bananas
1/4 cup cocoa powder
1/8 cup milk
2 Tablespoons sugar
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Lightly grease a 9×5 inch loaf pan. In a large bowl, combine flour, baking soda and salt. In a separate bowl, cream together butter and brown sugar. Stir in eggs and mashed bananas until well blended. Stir banana mixture into flour mixture; stir just to moisten.
Pour half of batter into another bowl. Add cocoa powder, milk and sugar. Stir until just moistened. Layer banana batter/chocolate batter/banana batter/ chocolate batter/ banana batter in prepared loaf pan. With a skewer or the back of a knife, dip into batter and make a quick figure 8 to mix layers slightly.
Bake in preheated oven for 60 to 65 minutes, until a toothpick inserted into center of the loaf comes out clean. Let bread cool in pan for 10 minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack.